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"Ask Me No Questions, I'll Tell You No Lies"
Season 3, Episode 9
Air date December 12, 1996
Written by Story:
Neal Baer & Lydia Woodward
Barbara Hall
Directed by Paris Barclay
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"Ask Me No Questions, I'll Tell You No Lies" is the ninth episode of the third season of ER. It first aired on NBC on December 12, 1996. It was written by Neal Baer & Lydia Woodward, teleplayed by Barbara Hall and directed by Paris Barclay. It has Mark Greene, still reeling from his heartbreak over the departure of Susan Lewis, crosses ethical lines by checking Jeanie Boulet's confidential medical files and learns that she is actually HIV-positive.


Mark, reeling over Susan's departure, copes with his heartbreak by working hard in the hospital. He goes through Jeanie's confidential files when he treats her ex-husband Al and learns that she's HIV-positive.

Doug and Carol are concerned about Mark's well-being over Susan leaving. Benton continues to ride on Gant hard.

Carter and Keaton are trying to keep their relationship a secret while she tells him some surprising news.

NBC Description

GREENE WITH ENVY: With the ER understaffed since Lewis's departure, Greene steps up to take a more active and strict interest in running things.

After treating Al Boulet, Greene becomes suspicious of Jeanie and investigates her health status.

Carter and Keaton continue their intimate relationship. Hathaway continues her pre-med studies but oversteps her boundaries with Weaver.

Short summary

With Susan Lewis now gone, the ER is short one doctor and Mark Greene decides to re-organize the distribution of work. Carol Hathaway frets over her midterm physics exam. Benton prepares for a particularly difficult pediatric surgery only to be pulled out at the last moment to assist Morgenstern in a routine procedure. Jeanie Boulet's husband Al is treated by Greene and now wonders about Jeanie's condition. When she denies her HIV status, Greene isn't prepared to take her word for it and checks her file. Dr. Keaton informs Carter that she is going away. Dennis Gant is having trouble keeping up with the heavy workload.



Carol Hathaway: Have you seen Mark? Is he okay?

Dr. Doug Ross: Put it this way, he called a staff meeting.

Carol Hathaway: Mark Greene?

Dr. Doug Ross: Yep.

Carol Hathaway: Glasses? Receding hair line? Broken heart?

Dr. Doug Ross: That's the one.


Dr. Doug Ross: So, Natalie, you get a lot of ear infections, do you?

Natalie: Can you just give me the Amoxicillin? I have a playdate.

[Dr. Ross begins to examine her ears]

Natalie: You don't need to look! Just give me the antibiotic! Augmentin will be just fine if you're worried about resistance!

Dr. Doug Ross: You know a lot of things about a lot of things, don't you, Natalie?

Natalie: Yes, I do.

Dr. Doug Ross: So do you want to tell Nurse Hathaway about Coulomb's law?

Carol Hathaway: Ah, that's the fundamental law of electrostatics, which states that the force between two charged particles is directly proportional to the product of their charges.

Dr. Doug Ross: And inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. Isn't that right, Natalie?

Natalie: [glares at Dr. Ross]


Dr. Doug Ross: It looks like snow.

Carol Hathaway: It smells like snow.

Dr. Doug Ross: Carol, what does that mean?

Carol Hathaway: You can smell snow coming. It has a smell.

Dr. Doug Ross: It smells like burritos.

Carol Hathaway: Look, what are we going to do about Mark?

Dr. Doug Ross: Put him on a plane or have him killed.

Carol Hathaway: I don't think I can take this much longer, you know? Maybe you should talk to him.

Dr. Doug Ross: I talked to him once, he said he was okay. Ask him again, it gets a little weird.

Carol Hathaway: Ohh, you'd be violating the guy code.

Dr. Doug Ross: Guy code?

Carol Hathaway: Yeah, of noncommunication.